FXXK WEBDESIGN - 9 Reasons why my whole Career was a lie!

F❌❌K WEBDESIGN

Stop obsessing, it does not matter that much! Millions of people with countless theories, philosophies, guidelines, rules, standards, frameworks, analytics, methodologies, even f❌❌king heat-maps and still all modern websites look/feel the same. Not to mention Captcha, Notifications, Pop-Ups, Prompts, Cookies and f❌❌king "Dark Patterns".

Time to add another pointless design philosophy!

Lets call it:

F❌❌king Minimalism

1. F❌❌K UX/UI - its a circle-jerk

A Website is not a f❌❌king art peace!

Webdesign is easy, its all either a list or a grid with text, pictures and links/buttons. Websites are usable by default, stop over-designing and making them confusing.

No one will care/notice/be impressed by your exquisite, bold, disruptive and brave color-pallet, your avant-garde background-patterns which follow the Tibetan methodology of spiritual expression and your tasteful, delicate but yet vital fade-in animations.

Its all just important sounding words to hypnotize potential employers, investors and one self into thinking that it all matters.

The service/product is what matters/sells!

2. F❌❌K Animations - use GIF/Emoji

No one will buy a product just because the Website has some "very cool" animations.

Animations are hard to produce, distracting and make my old laptop sad 💻🔥😭

Gifs stood the test of time!

Emojis have: No external files! No f❌❌king copyright! Recognizable worldwide!

3. F❌❌K Videos - don't use them

I am talking about background videos on f❌❌king auto-play, like I see on so many websites.

If you want to show a video just f❌❌king embed it.

NEVER use auto-play, especially with sound! Its distracting and makes people leave!

4. F❌❌K Bloat - keep it small

There is nothing modern about waiting for your Site to load!

Why the f❌❌K does every business website now has a loading screen like its a f❌❌King video game?

5. F❌❌K Frameworks - use pure HTML/CSS/JS

All frameworks and libraries are just adding layers on other layers, which just add processing time, complexity, dependency and expertise needed to maintain. Modern site break on every update just because there are some f❌❌king "dependency issues".

HTML Websites from 1995 on the other hand are still perfectly fine and perform better then these "Frankenstein" of modernity.

Dont build on sand! 👑 STAY INDEPENDENT...BRRRrrraaap 👑

6. F❌❌K 4k/HD - use low resolution

It gonna be viewed on a tiny Mobile Screen anyway

7. F❌❌K Hype - Every trend gets old

Simplicity is Immortal!

8. F❌❌K Hosting - use GIT

Are you still paying just to host a couple of text files? Bro, you are getting pimped!🤑

Praise Linus Torvalds!

9. F❌❌K Fonts - Use Web-safe Fonts

No one cares about fonts, except designers. You need like an engineering degree just to load the f❌❌king fancy font on your site, but even then it wont work in all browsers and will rely on external content.

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